Healthy Dialogue in Difficult Times

Oct 30, 2020 | UA News

Resource and post by Urban Alliance staff.

One of the great challenges facing us all in 2020 is a longstanding one: how to maintain healthy relationships in a cultural and social environment that is oftentimes polarized, filled with tension, and highly political. It seems that now, more often than not, we are navigating many situations that have the potential to create real and lasting harm to people and relationships. How do you relate to people with whom you disagree? How do you engage a topic you don’t fully understand? What can we do to model and engage in healthy practices when the world seems to be going down a different road?

Our booklet, Healthy Dialogue About Controversial Topics, addresses these questions and more, offering strategies and principles to engage with people we disagree with in a healthy manner, even when it feels impossible. Balancing biblical insight and some of the latest research from John Gottman and others, this resource asks you to consider your own discernment, blind spots, and ability to self-differentiate and then encourages you to engage in healthy communication practices like active listening and listening circles.

So many times it seems easier to disengage from stressful situations, difficult people, and hot button topics, but what if we could do better? What if we could feel safe, communicate in healthy ways, and stay engaged with those challenging situations? Healthy Dialogue About Controversial Topics is a free download available in the Urban Alliance Resource Library.

Don’t need a whole booklet? That’s OK! This short handout can help you, too!

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The staff at Urban Alliance are familiar with Pastor Frank because he is a regular attendee to many of the trainings Urban Alliance provides on subjects like domestic violence, addressing childhood trauma, and better counseling techniques. “That’s been so valuable to me to be able to bring that back, not only in my counseling but also in my teaching and preaching ministries, “ shared Termine.

Pastor Frank was also one of the original members of the Micah group, a group of pastors that meets at Urban Alliance to discuss and strategize about challenging issues that face the church today. One of those earlier discussions on justice, incarceration, and returning citizens was particularly memorable. “We all lamented the fact that these men and women were coming out of prison into our churches and just kind of being thrown there,” said Termine, “We could do better than this.” That discussion planted the seeds that eventually led to the creation of Second Chance Churches – an opportunity for churches to provide support and mentoring to returning citizens that continues today.

When we asked Pastor Frank what he would say to another church that was unaware of Urban Alliance, he said, “If you are looking to get out in the community and make a difference in the community, Urban Alliance is a super way to do it. We’re a small church … we can’t do everything. Urban Alliance is a pathway to get our people involved in ministries that are already doing it, doing it well, and just need extra volunteers.”

Pastor Frank Termine’s story embodies many things we are trying to accomplish at Urban Alliance: supporting organizations in the communities they serve with training, resources, and opportunities to make a difference. Pastors and non-profit leaders face a wide range of challenges and, therefore, need a wide range of help and resources. Your support can help turn stories of struggle into stories like you find at Calvary Church.

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